My Life
by deidararulez
Summary: I can't take it anymore... My life is just a living hell. Why did he die before me... it's not supposed to happen this way. Why him? What has he done! Absolutely nothing. It's my fault he's dead, and I regret letting him into my life, my problems."
1. Friends or More than Friends

Another Fanfic. It might be a little sad, or a lot, depends on how i write... anyway enjoy!

Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Naruto in Any way

"My Life"

Prologue

I can't take it anymore... My life is just a living hell. Why did he die before me... it's not supposed to happen this way. Why him? What has he done?! Absolutely nothing. It's my fault he's dead, and I regret letting him into my life, my problems.

_My Life._

In this time of my life, I'm five. My name's Sasori, and I have red hair with dark red eyes. I just watched my mom die today. Funny thing was, I didn't cry. She wasn't worth it. She used to beat me along with my dad. So I didn't cry when my dad killed her because he saw her with another man. She deserved it. The only thing is, my dad blames me, he thought I drove her into another man. How that's even possible? Go ask his snobby stuck up ass. I'm starting school tomorrow. Hopefully it's good there.

_The Next Day_

School's going okay for the most part. Appart from the other kid's teasing, it's going good. There's this other boy in class. He has blonde hair and blue eyes. He seems like me, secluded from everybody, and not giving a care in the world to what happens. He's noticed me looking at him. Maybe I should go talk to him. Maybe.

_Lunch time_

"Hi my name's Deidara, yeah. Can I sit here?" I looked up to see that same boy with the blonde hair and blue eyes. I gave a slight incline of my head to show him I said yes.

He smiled cheerfully, but that lasted only a second. He immediately got this pained expression on, right after he sat down. I resisted the urge to ask what was wrong.

The expression was gone soon though, and now he wore a frown. Just like me, he picked at his food. We didn't talk, because we barely knew each other.

"What's your name, if you don't mind me asking, yeah?" I looked up and met his eyes for a brief moment before saying in a quiet voice, "Sasori."

He seemed cheerful to hear me talk, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Something about him seemed fake, as if he was trying to hide something. _Maybe he's hiding that he's in pain._ If you looked closely, you could see him grimace when he moved.

"So Sasori, do you want to hang out, yeah? " He asked hopefully. Again, i gave a slight incline of my head.

This was going to be the start of a nice friendship.

Time Skip: Eight Years Later. Sasori: 13 Deidara: 13

Another day at school for me. The beatings that I get from my dad are the same. I'm still not sure if Deidara will tell me whats wrong with him, but he said we will talk when it's lunch time. He might be ready to tell me what's wrong with him, although I have my suspicions.

"He Sasori, un." Deidara said in his fake cheery voice. I hate that voice, it drives me insane.

"Hn." I said. We sat in silence for a while. I couldn't take it so I asked, "So, are you going to tell me why you always look like your in pain?" I asked casually. I didn't want to show him how eager I was, but God it was hard.

"Um... yeah, un." I could tell he was hestitant, but I know he wanted someone to know... and what better than a someone who's been your friend since pre-school?

He took a deep breath, " I guess it started when I was four or something like that. I had a mom and dad, and a twin sister. I was about five minutes older than her. But, when she came out, my mother died. My father thought he could deal with her death, but over the years, he seemed to go insane. I noticed, but I thought it was nothing. I grew very protective of my sister, she was everything to me. One night when we were four, i guess my dad couldn't take my mother's death anymore, he had to take it out on someone. He came into our room one night, and I remember waking up to blood-curling screams. I looked over to my sister and saw her covered in blood, and she looked broken. I think she was dead. My father looked at me and told me not to tell anyone, that this was our little secret. I think he blamed her for our mother's death. I always wonder that if I was born first, then would I be the one on the floor covered in blood?"

I sat quitetly and glanced over at Deidara. He was crying silently. I felt bad for him. I think that he wasn't finished, because he took a deep breath.

"After that, i lived in fear of my dad. He must have noticed, because he started beating me. He didn't want someone to fear him, so he thought that he could beat it into me. He still does to this day. He gets drunk a lot too. When's he's drunk, the beatings get worst. So that's what happens." He took another deep breath, and tried to cease his crying.

So he was like me, he got beat too. Over something that wasn't his fault, something he couldn't prevent. I looked over at him. He was still crying, I wonder if i told him about my life... would that make him feel better? I hope so.

"Hey Deidara, the same things happen to me, just not the same tradegies. My mom died too, but not before she beat me all kinds of times. My father was the same way, he liked it when I was in pain. One night I, was about three, and that's when we started having problems with money. I guess, to them, that they thought that they had to buy me everything, and that just lead to problems. We were soon bankrupt, and since they didn't have money to buy their alchohol, they beat me. Simple as that. They couldn't get their alchohol, I couldn't have a normal life. But one night when I was five, my mom came home with another man. My dad was supposed to be out somewhere, but I think he came home early. He went into his and my mom's room, and I soon heard a gunshot, followed by a scream. My mom was crawling out of the bedroom, but my dad stopped her and started beating her. After about thirty minutes of that, she's dead. (Deidara gasped at this). I didn't cry though. I thought that she didn't deserve it. In a way, I felt relieved that she was gone. But after that, he turned to me and started screaming at me that it was my fault, that i'm the one who drove her to another man. I don't know how I could have done that, but I didn't say so. Now I get beat even worse, and its been that way ever since."

I took a deep breath. I noticed i had a tear in my eye. I quickly wiped it away, and looked over at him. Damn, he was crying harder. So much for that idea.

"That's so sad!" He started bawling again. I sighed, I don't think that he's going to stop cying anytime soon. But then he did something that shocked me. He reached over and pulled me into a tight embrace. After a minute he pulled back, and he just looked into my eyes. He then pulled forward and he pressed his lips to mine. I was shocked, and so I didnt' do anything. He then pulled back and turned away from me.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me." he then turned to leave, but I quickly pulled him back down and returned his kiss. I guess he was shocked, because he didn't do anything. But then he returned the kiss. It was a sweet, passion filled kiss, and I loved it. We then pulled apart, and I could tell he was blushing. He turned to me and said, "Hey Sasori... um do you think that... um maybe we could, um I don't know..." he turned away blushing. I pulled him closer to me, and said, " I would love to Deidara, although I'm not sure what you want to do.

He seemed to get soem confidence after I said that, because he said, " How about we go to the ice-cream shop after school tomorrow?" I said yes, and we just sat there being happy. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.

A/N: Okay, so this is the first chapter, and if u bear with me, i will have the next chapter up soon. But be warned, this story is going to be kinda sad, and i kind of have the chapter's planned out.

Please Review!! Love, Deidararulez


	2. Heartbroken with some icecream

Hey, the next chapter!! I wasn't really sure on what to do with this one, so i just... heh, even _i_ don't know what i mean. oh, and thanks for both of my reviewers!! even if its only two, it means someone likes this story!

Eh, on with the story.

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**Normal POV**

* * *

Sasori opened his eyes. He could here his dreadful father snoring up stairs. Knowing this was his only chance to get out while he can, he jumped into the shower, put on his clothes, and ran out the door.

He remembered one time he didn't wake up early.

_Flashback: Sasori 8_

Sasori woke up to hear his father screaming at him. Sasori wondered what he could have done, his father usually beat him after school. Sasori opened his eyes, only to be thrown across the room. He could barely make out his father's words, but he caught some of them. He was saying stuff about 'not waking up' and 'you're such a stupid little bastard'. Sasori was barely hurt by his father's words; he heard them everyday. His father then started pounding his fists into Sasori. He didn't fight back, he knew that if he struggled, it would only bring his father pleasure. So Sasori stayed in the same position, fighting the urge to whimper, and the urge to hit his father.

Sasori started to close his eyes. He knew his father would keep hitting him until he passed out. So that's what he did.

Sasori awoke later to immense pain in his body. He wondered how he was going to get to school.

_End of Flashback. (_ I know, it sucked! _)_

Sasori shuddered at the thought. He never woke up late again, and also fearing that his dad would want to beat him in the morning, he always rushed.

_**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**_

Sasori was at school, waiting for Deidara to show up by the tree usually hang out at.

When Deidara finally did show up, Sasori notices that Deidara has a big bruise on his cheek, and he also notices that he has a black eye. Sasori doesn't need to know who did it to him. There was only one person who fucked with their lives.

_**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**_

_After School_

Sasori and Deidara had got their ice-cream, and were now sitting under a tree close to the park.

Sasori looked over at Deidara and sees that he is looking sad. Sasori scoots closer to him and hesitantly hugs him. Deidara was shocked that Sasori would actually hug him, because Sasori seemed the type to not do something like that. Deidara gets over his shock and hugs him back.

They stay that way for some time, but then Sasori feels something wet on his shoulder. Curious, Sasori lifts Deidara from him and looks at him. Sasori sees tears falling freely from his face. Sasori must have been looking at him because Deidara hastily started to wipe his tears from his face. But Sasori stops him, and whispers, " It's okay to cry Dei." Hearing that, Deidara falls back on him and starts sobbing more than last time.

"I just want it to stop Sasori, un," he said. " I'm tired of being in pain, and I don't think I can stand it! I think I would be better off dead!" Sasori pulls Deidara away from him and looks him in the eye.

"Don't say that Dei!!" he says shaking him, "We can get through this together, you don't have to die, and I want you to promise me that you won't do anything stupid."

Deidara looked away when he said that. Uh-oh Sasori thought, he probably is going to do something stupid. "Dei do you hear me?! I said promise me!" Deidara starts to cry harder.

"Don't you feel the same?" he started, "Don't you just want to give up?! Don't you just want to be free of everything?" Deidara shook, he just wanted it to end. Why couldn't Sasori just see that?!

"Dei I can't just let you go like that! Even if we could both die, how would you know if we would still be together? What if we got seperated? I couldn't stand if we weren't together." Sasori was on the brink of tears. "Dei... I love you!" That's it, Sasori was crying.

To say that Deidara was shocked would be an understatement.

"Sasori... I love you too, but... if you can't respect my wishes, then we... can't be together" With that said, Deidara stood up abrubtly and left without another word. (and his ice-cream)

Sasori knew he shouldn't have gotten close to him. But there was a brihgt side. Deidara forgot his ice-cream. _At least I can have that, _he thought happily and kind of sadly.

"I forgot my ice-cream, un." Deidara took away his ice-cream and left.

Now Sasori was sad. Little did he know, Deidara was too.

* * *

I hoped you guys like it!! It may be a little weirdish, but i am honestly am trying! i was about to update, but my mom took me to my cousins birthday party

Anyways... eh, i got nothing else. oh, wait i do! i'm only going to do two more chapters, so don't be disappointed or whatever, but thats just how i got it planned. Oh, and the next chapter has a death in it... maybe two.

Love Deidararulez. (cuz she is trying her best)


	3. He's Gone

* * *

Yay!! i gots the next chapter! BUT!! be warned... this chapter is sad... well, it is to me. I honestly cried, and i only cry when my dad yells at me.

WELL... onward with the story.

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_With Deidara_

Deidara was on his way home, but what he did kept nagging at his inner mine. He knew that he shouldn't have hurt Sasori like that. Deidara scoffed at himself. _How do I know that he's sad? He might be happy for all I know. _But Deidara knew that not true. Sasori had confessed his love to him, and he knew Sasori never lied about stuff like that. _I'm such an idoit! Me, thinking of suicide at this age. I'm going to go apolagize._ With that said, Deidara turned around and headed to his house.

_With Sasori_

Sasori was finished with his crying, (because of Deidara. aka icecream and heartbreak.) He stood up and started to head home. When he was at his doorstep, only then did he realize how late it really was. _Oh shit my dad is going to __**kill **__me!_ Right when he was about to step away from the door, it flew open, and the next thing he knew he was on the ground with his father over him.

"Where were you my _sweet_ little boy?" he asked in a sickly sweet tone. Now Sasori was scared. His father only used that tone when he was _really_ mad. His father picked him up and threw him against the wall over and over again.

"Aren't you going to answer me?" Again he threw him against the wall.

"I said ARE YOU?!" his father was screaming now. He picked him up and started to hit him really hard.

"I was just taking a walk!" Sasori was desperate now, he knew his father wasn't going to stop. He might actually kill him this time.

"What, with that gay ass boyfriend of yours?!" Sasori's eyes widened in realization. His father knew?

"And do you know what i'm going to do to him?" Sasori was shaking in fear for him. His father was going to kill him... there was no doubt about it.

Sasori threw a punch at his father, wich suprisingly made it. Sasori's father was enraged at him. He started to hurt him, until he couldn't really walk. He then got up and he came back with a knife. He started to cut Sasori, and he laughed when he heard his screams.

* * *

_With Deidara and Sasori. (kind of)_

Deidara was at the street where Sasori lived, when he heard blood-curling screams. Judging by the sound of voice, he knew it had to be Sasori's. He ran the rest of the way, and he threw open the door, and he stood in open shock. The sight before him could make anyone throw up. But he knew he couldn't do that now; Sasori needed help. Instead of thinking this out, he rushed forward and jumped on Sasori's dad. Sasori's dad was shocked at the sudden wait, and he turned around. When he did, there was a smirk on his lips. He could kill the gay bastard sooner. He started to stab Deidara reapetedly.

Sasori was glad that he didnt' have to feel much pain anymore, but as soon as Deidara's screams entered his ears, his blood ran cold. He looked over at Deidara who was on the ground with pools of blood around him. Sasori jumped up, grabbed a lamp and. using all of his strenght, smashed it over his dad's head. His dad fell unconcious, so he turned to Deidara. The sight cause him to burst into tears. Deidara was on the ground, and he looked broken. There was multiple stab wounds on his body. Sasori walked over and picked him up. He then started to run to the hospital. However, along the way, Deidara stopped him. They were by the tree they love to hang out at.

"Sasori, un, you need to stop, we both know that I can't make it." Deidara looked away,

"Shut up Dei!! DON'T TALK LIKE THAT!!" Sasori was close to crying again.

"Sasori, I've lost to much blood, and we can't make it to the hospital."

"Dei please don't talk like that... you'll be fine." But Sasori knew that it was hopeless. He couldn't save Deidara.

"Sasori, I came back to say that I'm sorry, and that thinking about commiting suicide was stupid. And that I didn't want to break up with you. I love you to much for that." Deidara was crying.

"Shh Dei, I know you love me." He paused, but then he continued, "Why did you do it Dei? Why did you help me?"

Deidara was about to answer, but then he started to cough blood up violently. Sasori held him; he didn't know what to do. Never had he felt so helpless.

When Deidara stopped coughing, he was barely breathing. Sasori knew he was about to die.

"Sasori can you do one last thing for me before I..." He trailed off, and, instead, he leaned up to Sasori and kissed him on the lips. Sasori returned the kiss, even the metalic taste of blood was on his lips. After a minute, they pulled apart. Sasori just held onto him. He was thinking about what he could do when he felt Deidara's arms go limp around him, Sasori panicked.

"NO!! Deidara come back! no no no NO! Dei you can't leave me! please! DEI!" Sasori was shaking him but he knew Deidara was gone.

"Deidara... I love you so much... come back." Sasori couldn't stop crying. Deidara was everything for him.

Sasori gently put Deidara on the ground. "I guess you got your wish. But don't worry, I'll be joining you soon. I have some business to take care of." With that said, he ran back to his house, into his room and brought out his journal. When he was stressed, he wrote in it. _I will see you soon Deidara, we'll be together forever._

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Well, there's the chapter. Please don't be mad at me. I tried my best. I was thinking about killin Sasori, but Deidara just qualified for it. once again... SORRY!!

Love, (or hate... but i prefer love) Deidararulez.


	4. We're Together Now Dei

**HI!! ok, i am so sorry this chapter took so long!! i thought that it would only take 2 days!! but NOOO it frickin' took like a whole week!! again i am so sorry! i tried to make this chapter good... tried to... heh, not that long either...**

**eh ON WITH THE CHAPTER!!**

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I can't take it anymore... My life is just a living hell. Why did he die before me... it's not supposed to happen this way. Why him? What has he done?! Absolutely nothing. It's my fault he's dead, and I regret letting him into my life, my problems.

Sasori came down from his room after he had written in his journal. He had tucked Deidara away before he came here. He didn't want anybody to find him. Sasori moved toward the kitchen, and went in. He came back a minute later, having found the largest and sharpest knife.

He went into the living room to find his dad barely waking up. On his head was a very big bruise. Sasori chuckled evilly when he knew that he did that. He bent over his father.

"Hi _Dad._ Awww, do you have an owie on your head? Here, let me see." Sasori sliced the knife across the bruise, and smiled in satisfaction when he heard his dad scream in pain.

"Aww, did that hurt you?" This time Sasori stabbed him hard, over and over again. The anger he felt for his dad, and the feeling of loss of Deidara being gone, came ruching out. He felt like he was loosing control.

When he was done, he could hear his dad saying something.

"Sas-ori please s-stop! Your my son for danm's sake!!" That made Sasori angry.

"What the fuck do you mean _my son_?? Don't even think of calling me that! I went hungry for weeks, just because you guys had to buy your STUPID ALCOHOL!!" After he said that, Sasori drew the knife across his dad's throat.

He felt satisfied, but not to his full content. He had to do somehting else.

**X X X**

He arrived at Deidara's house some time later. When he came up to the front door, he heard some noises. _It sounds like Deidara's dad and that useless whore were at it again._ He remebered that Deidara had said something about that, and she used to smack him around. Hmm, who said he couldn't have some more satisfaction?

Sasori went inside, and was greeted by a site kid's his age shouldn't see. There was Deidara's dad, fucking the living daylights out of this whore, and she was making these disgusting noises.

They seemed to not have noticed him, so Sasori went around Deidara's dad, and stabed him in the back. Deidara's dad fell down, and Sasori grinned. He heard the woman scream, and his grin broadened. He went over to her and staped her in the stomach, and in the heart. She was dead a moment later.

Sasori then strode over to where Deidara's dad layed. He then stabbed him repeatedly, and when he was dead, Sasori stabbed him one last time, and then grinned happily. He felt satisfied now. Without a glance back, Sasori left the house.

**X X X**

Sasori was at the park, where he and Deidara hung out at. He found Deidara's body by the tree, and he looked so peaceful. Sasori sat against the tree, and very gently leaned Deidara's cold body against his warm body. He held Deidara, and he let his tears fall freely.

"Don't worry D-Deidara, we'll b-be to-together soon!." Sasori grabbed the knife with one hand, the other still tightly wrapped around Deidara. He brought the knife up to his wrists and cut them deeply.

"Soon Dei, soon." Sasori let out a contented sigh, and then he was gone.

**X X X**

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Once again, sorry for this taking so long... i got caught up in school, and it was so damn tiring!! its the weekend, so i wrote this. There will be the last chapter, where the police find them and so on so forth. but i won't take a friggin' week, i will get it uploaded today!!

Thanx!!

Deidararulez


	5. Chiyo's Findings

OK!! here is the next chapter!! this is the last chapter! So enjoy!!

OH, and chiyo is going to be in this one! if u don't get how this adds up and stuff, then i will tell u at the end! or maybe in the story... i'll try!

Once Again, ENJOY!!

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Sasori's grandma Chiyo was trying to make it over there before it was to late. She heard the voice-mail that Sasori had left her, and she was shocked beyond belief. She kept wondering if Sasori would really commit suicide. He sounded serious in the message, and she could tell he was sad.

When Chiyo was in the town she spotted something in the park, that looked oddly like Sasori, but he had something with him. For a moment her spirits rose, that Sasori didn't mean what he said in the voice mail, but then she felt her heart drop when she saw blood pooled around him. He was holding a pale thing, but up close she saw it was a young blonde boy.

She knew who he was when she was in Sasori's room, and she saw something sticking out form under his bed. In that picture was Sasori and that boy smiling, a true smile. She had never seen him so happy.

She went over to him and knelt down beside him. She covered her mouth so she wouldn't cry for him. She knew that Sasori hated it when peoples cried for him. She then gently picked him and Deidara up and carried them to her car. She laid them down, just like they were before, and started to drive to Sasori's house,

**X X X**

When she arrived at Sasori's house, she went up to the door. She couldn't help but feel like she was going to find another dead body.

She went inside, and was immediately struck by the smell of blood. She went further into the rooma and saw Sasori's dad on the ground, drenched in blood, and stabbed many times. Chiyo went over to the phone. She knew that she had to call the police, because if she waited to long, then they might think that she was the one who murdered them.

After she called the police, she went up to her grandson's room. Once inside the room, she saw Sasori's journal on the desk. She went over to it and picked it up. She leafed throught the pages, reading stuff here and there. When she came to the last page, she started to cry.

_'__I can't take it anymore... My life is just a living hell. Why did he die before me... it's not supposed to happen this way. Why him? What has he done?! Absolutely nothing. It's my fault he's dead, and I regret letting him into my life, my problems.'_

With what she read before, she started to piece them together. The conclusion she came up with, was the one she had thought for years. She had and idea that Sasori's dad was abusive, but she never had enough evidence. But now... she was too late. Sasori was gone, and so was his friend, who supposed father killed.

Sometime later, the police arrived, and she told them what she had learned. They were suspicious of her at first, but once they were done with the evidence, they said she was innocent.

The police came to a conclusion that Sasori was the one who had killed his father. chiyo didn't believe it at first, but when she saw that the wound marks matched the ones with the knife that Sasori had in his hand at the time, she couldn't believe it.

A day later the police found Deidara's dad's dead body inside his home with a woman. They were both naked at the time, but the wound marks on them matched the same as the other ones that was on Sasori's dad.

The conclusion that they came to was the same as the other one.

Chiyo couldn't believe that her dear grandson would have killed himself and three other people. But the way his voice sounded on the message, he sounded insane.

Chiyo went to a hotel after learning all of this. She couldn't bear the thought of anything that had happend.

She went there distraught.

**X X X**

When Chiyo looked out her window, she could have sworn she saw Sasori and the blonde boy smiling. It was only for a brief moment, but she saw it all the same. He was actually smiling.

Chiyo went to sleep peacefully.

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A/N: I know the end was kinda cheesy!! but if u thought other wise, then REVIEW!! i still have some trusty peoples out there... somewhere... hmmm... where did they all go?!

no im just kidding!! u guys wouldn't leave me... i think!! well, i really like reviews!! even if they weren't here when i wrote this... but if i get a review, then i will email u back... if i don't get my computer privilige token away... whoops, better go change that thing before my mom sees it... to late... run!!

well, this is the conclusion for MY LIFE!!

LOVE YOURS TRULY:

Deidararulez.


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